


I’m in Love With You

by kez



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27897301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kez/pseuds/kez
Summary: More than a year after breaking up, David is still in love with Patrick.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 14
Kudos: 124





	I’m in Love With You

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to faith, for reading over this and spotting the gaping plot hole I left in the middle, so I could fix it!
> 
> This is the first SC fic I'm posting. This fandom has eaten my brain. Finally a canon pairing that doesn't end in death or dispair, but actually shines!

“I love you. I’m in love with you,” David said softly, eyes cast down towards the floor. “And I know I really don’t have any right to say that to you. And also I know you’re in a relationship, um, and I’m happy for you, I really am. I just feel like if I didn’t tell you how I felt, I would literally go insane. You’re the nicest man I’ve ever known. And... that’s it.”

Patrick looked dumbstruck, which was fair, as it had been David who had ended things between them over a year before.

“David I... I don’t know what to say,” Patrick said, slightly strangled.

“It’s ok, I didn’t... you don’t have to say anything. I just... I’ll go and I’ll... see you around. In work. Where we... I hope we can still... yeah.”

Patrick said nothing, his expression unreadable, so David left. He stopped by the door, feeling like he should say something else, but there wasn’t anything.

*~*~*~*~*

Patrick startled when the door snicked closed behinds David’s retreating figure. He didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. 

He’d been heartbroken when David had ended things, but he’d understood that David felt betrayed, when Rachel had turned up out of nowhere and revealed a past David had no idea about. But he'd accepted it and worked hard to maintain their working relationship. 

And while he’d hoped at first, that maybe in time David may be able to forgive him, that maybe there was hope, he’d had to accept that David was offering nothing more than friendship, they’d settled into a good thing and Patrick had tried to move on.

His relationship with Ken was good. Ken was cute and funny and they both liked baseball and went hiking together. Maybe it wasn’t as all-consuming as what he’d felt with David, but it was nice, comfortable. He couldn’t just... it wouldn’t be fair to Ken, to just drop him and run back to David. 

If he even wanted... could he take that risk again? Could he let himself fall... no, he’d never fallen out of love with David. He’d accepted that it was over. But he’d never stopped loving him.

Patrick realised that no matter what he decided about David, he couldn’t stay with Ken. It wouldn’t be fair, when he had no hope of ever competing with the feelings Patrick had for David.

*~*~*~*~*

David crashed on Stevie’s bed. Half a bottle of their best mid-range cabernet doing nothing to dull the pain of finally admitting he was still in love with Patrick and accepting that he’d lost his chance.

“I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me,” he said.

“Gee thanks,” Stevie said.

David groaned. “You and I agreed on this!”

Stevie shrugged. “I do like to mess with you though.”

David threw his pillow at her. “I hate you.”

“You love me,” Stevie said, turning over to cuddle into his side. “If he doesn’t turn up at the store tomorrow and declare his undying love, he’s an idiot.”

David appreciated the sentiment, but he knew he was the idiot. “Get me more wine,” he pleaded. Maybe another bottle of wine would make him feel better. Stevie, good friend that she was, got up and returned with another bottle. 

It didn’t help.

*~*~*~*~*

Patrick broke up with Ken. He felt bad, mostly about how bad he didn’t feel.

He still had no idea what to say to David, when he arrived at work the next morning, but he could admit to himself at least, that he was... relieved, to have ended things with Ken. 

Like that final time with Rachel, when he’d finally admitted to himself that it was never going to work, because as much as he genuinely cared about her, he didn’t _want_ her, not really. And yes, Ken was a man and he’d been attracted to him, but there was no real passion. Given Ken’s easy acceptance of Patrick ending things, maybe there hadn’t been much there for either of them.

David arrived at 10am and it was... normal. Other than the little looks David kept shooting him, as he worked on a new display, Patrick would have thought the whole of yesterday a dream. 

“I’m going to get lunch, do you want something?” Patrick finally asked, around lunch.

“Um, yeah. Coffee? And a tuna salad?”

“Really?” Patrick asked.

“Ugh, not all of us are prepared to hike up a stupid mountain to keefup fit,” David grumbled.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Patrick said. 

“Um... thanks. I... well uh... food?”

“Right. I’ll be right back,” Patrick said.

“Patrick,” David called after him. “Can I get a cheeseburger? And fries?”

Patrick smiled. “Coming right up.”

*~*~*~*~*

David wasn’t thinking about what Patrick had said, as he kept himself busy. It didn’t mean anything. Just because Patrick said... really barely implied, that he looked good. Patrick was nice. He just meant to be nice, by telling David he didn’t look like a hippo or something. 

Patrick was dating Ken and even if Patrick was the cheating sort – and David knew he wasn’t – David wasn’t going to be the other man. Maybe he would have once. Who was he kidding, he _had_ been, more than once, even if he hadn’t always known it. But in a twist of irony that was almost painful, Schitt’s Creek and Patrick specifically had given him a greater sense of self-worth.

Not that it mattered, he reminded himself forcefully. As Patrick didn’t mean anything other than being nice, with his comment.

David was going to have to be very strict with himself, to keep himself from taking anything Patrick said as meaning more than just him being friendly and be glad he still had that. 

He _was_ glad he still had that. 

Patrick’s friendship was priceless to him. Even if it was painful, to know how he’d lost a chance at more, he wasn’t going to sabotage what they did have.

*~*~*~*~*

Patrick was waiting for Twyla to get their lunch, when he noticed Alexis in one of the booths and decided to say hi. He liked David’s sister, she could appear flighty and fickle, but like David, she had a good heart.

“Hey, Alexis,” he greeted.

“Oh hey, Patrick. Hi. Um... hi,” she gave him a smile so clearly forced it looked a little painful. 

“You know, huh?” Patrick asked rhetorically.

“Um, yeah. Sorry,” Alexis said. 

“It’s fine, Alexis, it’s... we’re fine,” Patrick said.

“Oh good. Well good.”

Patrick gave her a smile that felt more than a little forced on his own face. “I’m just gonna...” he waved vaguely towards the counter and even made it halfway there before he turned back and slid into the booth opposite her.

“I broke up with Ken.”

“Oh. Kay. Um. Good?”

Patrick sighed. “I have no idea what to do about David. But... Ken wasn’t... I’d never compare them, but it just wasn’t... but David, I understood why he ended things. I know I hurt him. But it hurt me too. I don’t know if I can go there again and survive it if it doesn’t work out. I’d lose everything Alexis. Not just David, but the store...”

“David... he never, people he was with in the past, weren’t always particularly good to him. And I’m not saying that to... he just, never had anyone who was genuinely nice to him. Who stuck it out when things got... not fun, or not easy. And a lot of relationships where... well he called them ‘open relationships’ but he didn’t always know they were supposed to be, you know? I think David got used to being left a lot. I know I left a lot. I wouldn’t call him for months and then I’d need help and... he was always there you know. Middle of night, 4am, I’d call and whatever I needed, he fixed it. Mom and Dad didn’t, well, you’ve met them. You’re probably the first person who ever stuck around. And before we came here, David never had that. Never thought he could expect someone to want to stay. So Rachel, it was like... it’s exactly what he expected. One more person who wouldn’t stay. Who had someone better waiting in the wings.”

“So he ended things, before I could? Alexis, I told him, me and Rachel were... she wasn’t waiting in the wings. Or anywhere else. I tried so hard with her, but it was never... I told him, I told him, he made me feel right.”

“I never said my brother was very smart,” Alexis gave a little half smile. “I never... before we came here, I never let anything touch me. I never fell in love with any of the men I dated. Honestly, some of them I didn’t even like that much. Falling in love is scary. Falling in love and being sure that the person you’re falling in love with, won’t stay, because no one has before, because _you_ aren’t good enough... when David loves someone, he loves them fiercely and with his whole heart. And he’s had that thrown back in his face a hundred times. At least half of them by me. But he opened his heart up again anyway. He loves me, even when I’ve literally given him a million reasons not too. He loves Stevie. And Mom and Dad. And he loves you. I can’t tell you what to do. I can only tell you what I know. He loves you Patrick. And he’s right there, willing to put it all on the line again too, even though you could break his heart again. Even though he’d lose everything too – and he would, you know he’d be a mess without you at the store – if it goes wrong.”

“Thank you, Alexis,” Patrick said, as he stood, Twyla waving a waiting bag at him. “I don’t... you’ve given me some stuff to think about.”

Alexis smiled and reached up, giving him one of her trademark bops on the nose. “Just... please, don’t hurt him Patrick.”

*~*~*~*~*

David was exhausted, when he trailed into the motel room, after closing. It was barely six-thirty and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. Maybe his Mom had something... but no, that wouldn’t help. Sure he’d sleep but everything would still be the same in the morning.

He'd still have messed up the best relationship he ever had.

He’d still have to work with the man he loved more than he’d actually thought he could love anyone who wasn’t his family, or even was his family, some days.

He’d still be exhausted just thinking of getting through the day without messing anything up. Without giving Patrick a reason to just... leave. 

God, what had he done, telling Patrick he was in love with him? As if he wasn’t the one who’d ended things? The one who’d let every mistake from his past niggle at him, until it seemed like he _had_ to push Patrick away before he got in too deep. But fuck it had been too late for that and not telling Patrick was killing him. He couldn’t win either way.

“Ah, David, you’re home. Your mother and I were going to go to the café for dinner, do you want to come along?” his Dad popped his head through the door between the two rooms.

“No, no, I’m not hungry, I had a big lunch,” David said. It wasn’t a lie he’d had a big lunch, even if he didn’t eat most of it in the end, his stomach put off by the constant whirring of his brain as he tried to make sure he wasn’t doing anything to make Patrick uncomfortable.

“Okay, son. Well we won’t be long, but I think Alexis is at Ted’s so you should have the place to yourself for a little while,” his Dad said, the glaring sympathy in his face hard to ignore.

“Thanks,” David smiled weakly. His dad knew then. God, did everyone know? Was everyone walking around looking at him like that and he just hadn’t noticed?

David let himself collapse on the bed, toeing of his shoes in a blatant act of disregard for his Rick Owens that he’d normally never allow himself.

For a moment, David considered getting up and putting them away properly, but fuck it. He was allowed to wallow right? Just for one night, he could do that. And then tomorrow he’d again put all his energy into being normal and hopefully soon, it wouldn’t even feel like an effort.

Hopefully.

*~*~*~*~*

Patrick didn’t remember the decision to get back in his car and drive the five minutes from his apartment to the motel. He didn’t even really know what he was thinking on the way there, except that he had to do something. It wasn’t until he was knocking on the door for room seven and David answered, looking sleep rumbled and confused, that Patrick _knew_.

Patrick curled his fingers around David’s biceps and pulled him close, a huff of air puffing between them, as Patrick covered David’s mouth with his own. David’s arms came around his shoulders, fingers curling into his hair as David’s mouth opened under his and Patrick wasted no time in dipping inside, twisting his tongue with David’s.

“I love you,” Patrick said, as they pulled apart, breathlessly. “And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wanted to do that every day for the last eighteen months.”

David’s mouth twisted, that half smile-half frown thing he did sometimes that Patrick had always thought was ridiculously _cute_ for a man in his 30’s.

“Patrick,” he murmured. “I love you, but what about... you’re with Ken and...”

“I ended things. I couldn’t, it was never... I love you, David,” he repeated. “I tried to move on but I was already in love with you... and I never stopped. I wanted to tell you, back then but I didn’t, I knew it wouldn’t have been fair. Not when I’d hurt you like I did.”

“I thought you were just like everyone else. No, I knew you weren’t, I just couldn’t let myself believe it. No one else had ever... I love you.” 

David hugged him so tightly it almost hurt, and Patrick held him just as tightly. He had no idea how long they stood there, in the doorway to David’s shared room, just holding each other, breathing each other in.

“Come home with me?” Patrick asked. “I don’t mean... I just... I don’t want to let you go right now.”

“Okay,” David answered softly.

Reluctantly, Patrick let him go, to pack a bag, his eyes following David as he gathered a change of clothes, sleepwear and his toiletries. It had been so long and yet it felt like no time had passed from the last time Patrick had watched David do this. 

He knew they couldn’t just step back into how things had been, for one thing, Patrick needed to be more open with David about his past and he wanted to know more about David’s. But it also felt like they could just step back into it. The good parts anyway. The parts were Patrick got to shower David with affection and tease him gently when David tried to act like he wasn’t doing the same and spend hours just talking. They’d never been bad at talking, just bad at talking about the right things. Patrick wasn’t going to make those same mistakes twice. He was going to hold onto all the good stuff and work to fix the stuff that had gone wrong and he was going to _show_ David how much he loved him, not just tell him.

“Ready?” David asked, bag in hand.

Patrick took the bag and David’s now free hand, a million plans already running through his mind to make sure David didn’t regret being brave and telling him how he felt, giving them a second chance. 

He smiled, as he lifted David’s hand to kiss the knuckles gentle. “So ready.”

**Author's Note:**

> The keen eyed (or basically anyone who’s watched the show, lol) amongst you will notice that David’s speech is the one Alexis gives in The Rollout. Yes I stole it shamelessly. I really, really wanted to see David give this speech instead. Although I did change out ‘kindest’ to ‘nicest’ as I felt that suited better.


End file.
